


cause a little bits turned into a lot

by Uncontinuous (nights_fang)



Series: everything is changing but I think I love it now [2]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Just Vanya dealing with her ratag bunch of teenagers, There's kittens, and Kittens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-12-29 18:25:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18299651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nights_fang/pseuds/Uncontinuous
Summary: “Oh hi V, you’re home early.” Ezekiel says, a little too squeaky and high pitched, after four full minutes of silence, and Matthew has yet to flirt with her when he starts that ten seconds into her walking into the apartment, and something is definitely up.That’s when she hears the mewing behind Sonya and Curtis who are valiantly pretending not to hear anything. Mewing that does not sound like Mr Puddles.Oh good god.OR In another day of the chaos that is Vanya's life now, her kids bring home a box of kittens.





	cause a little bits turned into a lot

**Author's Note:**

> I was supposed to be writing serious fic, set in this universe instead of this. Then I remembered that this universe was born as pure wish fulfillment anyway so....

Vanya is too tired today. All she wants to do is get home and crash. She’s regretting not just cooking in the morning like she should’ve because she has no energy to go into the kitchen; so that means Pizza. She’s debating what pizza to get when she opens her apartment door to silence, and not the usual kind.

Five sets of eyes blink up at Vanya. Something is up. Vanya usually takes it in stride because she has long resigned herself to coming to her apartment full of teenagers. At this point, it helps because she now knows she’s ordering pizza for at least seven people – because Ezekiel eats enough for two people and the others may want more. Unless more plan to come to her apartment, which because this is Vanya’s life is highly probable. Ten pizzas then. But Vanya’s used to the kids lounging around the apartment like it belongs to them like asshole cats; not pretending (badly at that) that they were lounging around.

“Hi,” she says.

“Oh hi V, you’re home early.” Ezekiel says, a little too squeaky and high pitched, after four full minutes of silence, and Matthew has yet to flirt with her when he starts that ten seconds into her walking into the apartment, and something is _definitely_ up.

That’s when she hears the mewing behind Sonya and Curtis who are valiantly pretending not to hear anything. Mewing that does not sound like Mr Puddles.

Oh good god.

She may have said that out aloud because five teenagers converge on her all talking at once. Vanya can’t even make out anything they’re saying because they’re all jumbled out. And it’s all mixing with tiny little squeaky mewing that’s growing more frantic by the second from the box Curtis and Sonya were trying to hide from her.

Vanya needs coffee if she’s going to deal with this.

(She needs something much stronger but she’s thrown out all the alcohol in the house once she resigned herself to having too many kids in here at any given time. And that was long before she actually had Ezekiel staying with her. In hindsight that should’ve clued her in to how she was already gone on them.)

“I need coffee first.” She raises a hand, and they all fall mercifully silent. Well almost silent, there’s still the mewing but that can't be helped. So, she turns around, sets down her violin and backpack, and goes into the kitchen to fix herself coffee. Which is easier than she hoped for because someone had already put on a pot. Although she better check how much they’ve had later. They’re too young to be drinking the worrying amounts of coffee that she does.

Coffee in hand she makes her way back out, sits down gingerly on the couch and looks at her kids. Ellie has gone back to the kittens but the remaining four of them stand shuffling nervously. Vanya takes a moment for that to sink in while she figures out who to ask for an explanation. They’re rarely nervous around her. The sheer amount of shit they get away with like the hellions they are, that she lets them get away with is _astounding_.

But asking Ellie is a no go, and it’s a good thing she’s distracted again with the kittens. Ezekiel is also a no go. Matthew will flirt with her, she can already see him getting ready for it. And Curtis… well she doesn’t want to do this so Curtis. He looks the guiltiest out of the lot. Sonya, on the other hand, Sonya’s the most likely to give Vanya the proper story with only a few embellished details.

Besides, it’s not like Vanya is going to make them throw out the kittens anyway. Teenagers, she’s decided, are a lot like cats. It’s not like adding actual cats to the mix would cause more chaos than the kind Vanya is already resigned herself too. Who knows, maybe she can live with the schadenfreude of watching them go through what they do to her.

Sonya it is then.

“Sonya, explain.”

“Well I was helping Ezekiel take out the trash and we heard them. They were dumped in a box inside the dumpster. We couldn’t just leave them, there. Please V?”

“Please tell me you at least changed the box.” Because Vanya doesn’t want a trash box in her house. She’s smelled the kind of things that get thrown into that dumpster. And then because Ezekiel most likely climbed into the dumpster to rescue them before Sonya could reason with him, “Ezekiel please tell me you’ve taken a shower and thrown the dumpster clothes out.” Because Vanya doesn’t even want to attempt to salvage that. It’s only going to result in headaches and more ruined laundry.

She watches a shudder of relief go through the teenagers, and barely manages to get her coffee out of the way as three teenagers jump on her. Shrieking loud enough to break her ear drums. Well Ellies does. Matthew is probably using shitty pick-up lines, and Ezekiel’s probably promising to be the best kitten dad or something similar but both get lost in Ellie’s happy shrieking. Curtis and Sonya are at least kind enough to not squash their tiny music teacher and attempt to flatten her into the couch. Sonya even takes her mug. Good girl.

“So,” Vanya says once she gets her breath back. The three teenagers still puppy piled on her look at her. “Are we expecting anyone else, because I was thinking of ordering pizza. Also, we need to take the kittens to the vet.”

“I think Jazz may drop in? Don’t know about the others.” Matthew says snuggled into her. He does let her sit up so that she can get back to her coffee though, so Vanya lets him be there. Ellie and Ezekiel have thankfully jumped off her to go back to the kittens.

“Okay.” And then, “Hey!” when Ezekiel and Ellie place a bunch of kittens on top of her.

“What, you haven’t even met them yet!” Ellie protests. “See this one,” she says picking up a tiny brown, black, and white calico one and holding it far too close to Vanya’s face, “she even looks like you.” The rest of them snicker.

Vanya groans at the lot of them. Hell beasts.

 

* * *

 

 

Vanya ends up having to order even more pizza because apparently kittens are the new interesting “in-thing” and things have escalated into an impromptu sleepover. Her living room is full of all her older students cooing over the new kittens and fighting over what each one of them should be named, while Vanya has to clean up after them and keep the peace. That or her hellions just need an excuse too mooch off her.

It’s probably the latter.

She looks up from her place on the couch when something wet touches her toe. It’s the calico, somehow managing to have snuck out without the rapt kitten watchers realising it. And it’s now climbing up her pyjamas, or making a valiant effort too. Vanya scoops it up to get a good look at it.

“You know what,” she murmurs more to herself than to the kitten that seems quite comfortable in Vanya’s grip from the way it’s purring, “Ellie was right. You do look like me.”

“All in favour of naming that one Vanya, say aye!” “AYE!”

“Wait what?” Vanya blinks as she processes what she just heard and before she can react Jasmine’s already snapped a pic.

“So little Vanya, how do you like your new name?” Nisha asks picking up the calico, who has the audacity to _purr_ louder at the name.

The goddamned traitor.

 

* * *

 

 

Vanya never calls the calico _Vanya._ As far as Vanya is concerned, its name is Traitor.

Her kids always fucking laugh because like the kitten, they too are traitorous hell beasts.


End file.
